I think my hairdresser is a terrorist

11 Aug

I don’t have a lot of luck with hairdressers. Actually, you could say my luck is downright woeful.

Hairdressers keep on leaving me, which I guess is just part of being a woman, but I was once caught up in an armed robbery mid-colour, and my most recent stylist turned out to be a terrorist.

Oh, I see your bemused expression – you think I mock, don’t you?

When I was pregnant with J, I was getting my hair coloured on a Thursday night when this dude in a balaclava stormed in with a bat. That’s when I learned beyond all doubt that I’m sissy. We were bundled into the storeroom, flat on the floor while he ransacked the place and took off with our handbags. I don’t think I whimpered. Then I had my cut finished off while the cops dusted for fingerprints.

The next few hairdressers left me again, always without warning.

The last one was special. Did you know that Osama Bin Laden didn’t kill anyone personally? She admired him actually. When I tried to regain my composure and think of something (anything) to say, I came up with “Well I guess some people admire Hitler for his ability to motivate people to an end goal…” Her response? Well he was just evil!

Tonight I tried again. Jackie was nice. She was easy to talk to. She does a good scalp massage, and doesn’t talk at that point. She did try to sell me overpriced salon-quality shampoo, and she did con me into the ‘treatment’ at the basin, but no-one’s perfect, right?

I came away with the cut I described, and the colour I picked.

It was a good start to our relationship.

Please don’t leave me Jackie!

And if you don’t hear from me again, her name was Georgi, and she really was a terrorist.

15 Responses to “I think my hairdresser is a terrorist”

  1. Heidi August 11, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    Oh my god you poor girl! Great story though πŸ™‚

    • L August 12, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

      I got over it pretty quickly, thankfully. Was scary at the time though.

  2. The New Good Life August 11, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    Nice do… finding a good hairdresser is so hard isn’t it. I go so infrequently that the one I had the previous time has often moved on for whatever reason. And I find it so hard to describe what I want, if I have any ideas at all. Then just when I think I’ve got it sussed and walked out with a great cut, I wake up the next morning with a birds nest on my head, never to look that same way again. I’m so not a hair person. Mind you armed robbery and terrorism leaves my experiences for dead.

    • L August 12, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

      I think that’s the basis of my problem too- If you aren’t regular enough, you’re not on their radar. I think in reality I only get back every 4-5 months! Might have to be more often now that the grey is getting more persistent πŸ™‚

  3. Kieran August 12, 2011 at 1:22 am #

    Don’t forget Ronald, the ninja hairdresser at Chatswood Just Cuts πŸ˜›

    • L August 12, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

      I never had the nerve to subject my hair to Ronald, but maybe I should have. Would have saved me a bucket of money πŸ™‚

  4. veggiegobbler August 12, 2011 at 11:21 am #

    I wasn’t quite sure if you were joking and had to re-read your story. Wow.
    I try not to get my hair cut and I have long hair so I can get away with it. I do have to get my kids cut though and the last one absolutely butchered my eldest son’s hair. He looks completely ridiculous, like a curly, red headed lego man … but he’s only a kid so I have to pretend he looks fine.

    • L August 12, 2011 at 9:54 pm #

      Haha Veggiegobbler, so true. I guess you have to be careful of their fragile egos πŸ™‚

  5. ali August 12, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

    Are you serious?! You really did get bundled up in the storeroom and robbed? Cripes, that is like my worst nightmare, and pregnant too! Oh you poor poor thing.

    I hope your cut was free?

    • L August 12, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

      Yup. True story, but the cut was indeed free. I felt really sorry for the hairdresser, because she was just starting out her own business. I had followed her from her previous salon when she started out on her own, and she is really nice. I went back once after the robbery (in the daytime), but couldn’t bring myself to go back again.

  6. Kate August 12, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    Great story. I don’t bother much with the hairdo thing . Bit of a pity really as my daughter is a hairdresser! I hope you are able to keep this one, she has done a nice job.

    • L August 12, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

      Thanks Kate. I’m not really much of a hair person myself, but I feel obliged to look half decent for work. I put in effort on work days, but look like a gronk the rest of the time. I’d rather spend time sleeping than blow-drying!

  7. Mrs Bok August 13, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

    Hey there lovely lady! Your story is amazing. Glad you and your hairdresser were ok though. I cut my kids hair LOL poor things it’s like punishment really. Good luck with Georgi!

  8. L August 14, 2011 at 7:37 am #

    Thanks Mrs Bok πŸ™‚ I think I’m going to have to learn some hairdressing skills soon, because little D needs his first haircut. Boys’ hair gets scruffy quickly!

  9. Liz August 17, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    I have been traumatised by hairdressers for years – what to say, how to sit, should I tip? how much and so it goes on. Now after reading this I decided the only reasonable course of action would be to cut my own hair. I think I’ve done a reasonable job but then I haven’t seen the back…….

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