Today was one of those days. My pregnancy is advancing and I’m sleeping less soundly. I’m feeling more tired in the mornings than I was even as I went to bed the night before. Yet I’m trying to keep the kids’ routines going as well as managing the house and garden, working 2 days a week and a few other church commitments. I enjoy all of it, but it is getting harder.
Today I had J’s swimming lessons in the morning and an obstetrician appointment in the afternoon.
Should have been manageable, but it wasn’t.
I made it to both commitments (barely), but I must have looked like a bit of a mess to the obstetrician. As I was leaving, he actually said to me “I can organise with the hospital for you to have a few days break, you know”. Great. I thought I was at least appearing to hold myself together. I mumbled hastly that I’d be OK and slinked out of the consulting rooms before I burst into tears.
Then I got home and took a look around the house. This is what it looked like.
The kitchen hadn’t been touched since our dinner guests left last night. Yes, that is a piece of roast chicken still sitting on a meat tray. And many dirty dishes, and breakfast spreads still open on the bench, and a gas cylinder next to the stove (don’t ask!).
And if I turn around, I see:
The kids’ breakfast bowls still half full of weetbix remnants.
And the playroom, covered in toys with the kids glued to the tv, turning into square-eyes.
So I called P at work and warned him that I wasn’t coping very well and that the house was beyond disgraceful. He very graciously left work immediately, came straight home and cleaned up the house for me.
You see, I really have nothing to complain about. My husband is wonderful, my kids are actually very well behaved, I have wonderful family and friends, and most importantly a God who loves me.
But sometimes, you just get tired.
No Tuesday Night Vego from me this week. We did eat vegetarian, but I don’t think fusilli arrabbiata counts.
I promise to pull myself together to show you some exciting garden developments tomorrow.
500m2 in Sydney 
Bless him (your hubby). 4 words – be kind to yourself. Hey it takes a lot of energy growing a baby. 3rd trimester is when you’re supposed to be slowing down girlfriend – 2nd trimester is when you’re superwoman but as you get heavier and lose sight of them toes, it’s time to be slowing it down. That’s how God intended it because believe you me (and you should know), when that baby arrives that scene that you just painted would be normality. But here’s the thing. It gets better as they grow older – yes, different set of problems and the whole mess things just gets moved into their bedrooms – and you can shut the door to hide it then!!
Lilian, you’re an angel. Thank you for your wisdom and kind words.
Of all the things that, at the end of your life, you wish you had spent more time doing, housework will not be one of them. Enjoy being pregnant. You only get to experience it a few times in a lifetime. Dishes – hah – you get to enjoy doing those lots.
Thanks Linda 🙂 I generally do enjoy being pregnant. Such a blessing that not everyone is so lucky to experience. I just want to make sure I’m keeping it real and not attempting to be some fake Internet supermum. I’ll be a blubbery mess today, but I’m sure I’ll be fine again tomorrow and get back to putting my feet up (after I finish the dishes!)
There is nothing wrong with a messy kitchen… life is busy, especialy right now when you have reduced energy. Sparkling clean kitchens are a bit like perfect vegetables, a little too wierd and too perfect to be real. You are doing just fine!
Hehe – but there’s messy and there’s bio-hazard 😉 I guess I should just be glad it didn’t kill us, right?
Oh you know the line about the kids that grow up in squeeky clean environments? They have crazy allergies and really badly developed immune systems. Your doing everyone a huge favour, a bit of dried weetbix never really hurt anyone;-). Anyway, they were way away from the ‘biohazzard” – they were watching the box! May is a lovely time of the year for a baby.
Oh I know – I used to say that too, but then little D developed a milk allergy and now I’m totally stumped – how disgusting do I actually have to make the house before they stay resilient and allergy-free? ;P
Actually the most common accidental milk exposure that Little D has is when he peels off some of J’s dried-on weetbix from the table and eats it – so gross!
Don’t you dare feel guilty about living in reality, with real kids, commitments and energy levels. Just enjoy the goods bits, revel in them, ignore the mess and use ABC Kids when you have to. No guilt! Actually I’m working on just such a post.
Thanks Barbara 🙂 Actually I failed to mention that Little D used the toilet for the first time today. That’s a win! Now I just need to resist the temptation to toilet train him before the baby is born. It took a full year to train J, and I don’t need the added stress of accidents while I’m managing a newborn.
Acting on your plea for help – What a fabulous husband. And J is almost of the age when she can start to help out mum. Ah the joys of being the eldest.
Yes – the number of little jobs she has been doing is increasing. She’s already my permanent nappy fetcher, and yesterday she actually made Little D’s breakfast while I summoned the energy to roll out of bed – yeah!
You must come to Melbourne this instant where you will see a house that looks much worse than yours whereupon you will realise that actually you are supermum (and that I am a slob) and can bask in a feeling of fabulous superiority. Incidently manageable is not a word I would combine with swimming lessons, the getting them dressed again is pure torture in my experience…worse still if you have to get yourself dressed as well…arrgh.
Oh I avoided getting in the water by starting J at an older age, but it is still a drama trying to entertain D while she is in her lesson. I’ve actually given up and started to let him watch TV on my iphone for the whole lesson, or actually today he played (the computer game) Plants vs Zombies. Now that’s an example of awesome parenting for you!
You do know where I live if you need a break, right? What time is J’s swimming lesson? Maybe I could take D to Playgroup with me for a while? I’ve got a spare car seat now that Susie is in preschool (although our playgroup is so full, maybe I should make it just the occasional thing when you need a break). I’m sure I can take the kids for you some other time too, or maybe you should just come over here anyway so that you can’t do housework and are forced to just sit while the kids make a mess of my house (instead of yours). No extra effort for me, you know my daughter loves cleaning up!
Thank you 🙂 I’ll be OK. Most of the time I’m fine – the house is always a mess (you know that), but it’s only very occasionally I lose the plot emotionally too!
Ma’am, have no shame! We have all been there at some point! You did the right thing calling in your wingman! And bless him for being there when you needed him most. See now that’s what a marriage is all about. You look after yourself and if you can manage, take those few days that the Dr. offered because I’m sure that when #3 arrives you’ll thank yourself for it. xx Jodi
Thanks Jodi.
I think I’d go mad if he actually admitted me! I plan to work until 39 weeks just to avoid the insanity of sitting around and doing nothing.
You know seriously I didn’t see the mess in your photos. I was too busy admiring the whiteness. White always makes things look fresh and lovely… from a distance. I think you are doing an amazing job just getting to your appointments and managing dinner and writing blog posts all the other stuff that causes me to often fall into a sobbing heap and I’m not even pregnant.
Oh and what a lovely man!
Oh he is a lovely man. I am thankful every day.
And you are totally right about the white thing – deceiving from a distance. Up close though you can’t actually hide the layer of grot ;P
Just thought I would agree with everyone else that you are doing a great job. I’m about a month ahead of you (due April), also with two kids, eldest a bit older than J, youngest a bit younger than D. I am managing to do far less than you- I gave up work six weeks ago. I agree with Lilian that it takes a lot of energy to grow a human- anything else achieved is a bonus, especially with two other kids. I’ll join the others in saying my house looks far worse than yours, and I agree with the strengthening immune systems theory, although my youngest is also an allergy kid, so go figure.
Like you, I am lucky to have an awesome husband, since in the last few months I have done basically NO housework- no washing, hanging out clothes, shopping, dishwashing, or cleaning. I manage to cook a few nights a week, and I do the school/care pick up, and that’s pretty much it. Hubby picks up as much of the slack as he can when he gets home from work (I warn him at the door when the house looks particularly post-tornado like), and anything non-essential will just have to wait. I figure our kids are loved and cared for- yes they watch more TV/computer than I would like right now, but it’s not forever.
Go easy on yourself, and know that we’re all out here, grateful that you aren’t adding to the myth of superwoman, and thinking you’re doing an awesome job.
Jen, you are lovely 🙂
I hope you continue to keep well in your pregnancy and I’m so glad to hear that you have great support from your man.
I am really happy to hear of little E’s progress too – looks like she’s really improved out of sight!
I love how you share with such honesty and humour, thank you 🙂 I giggled my way through your blog (and some of your comments too). I must be honest and join the refrain though: your bio hazard day looks like a good day in my house.
Baby Boy woke up from his nap just after I started reading your blog. Did I put it aside for another time, yet again? Nope. I grab him out of bed, gave him a hug, then sat him beside me on my bed, laptop in front of me. How’d I get him to stay there? By feeding him potato chips 😉 Every time he finishes one, he rotates his wrist suggestively over the bag, clearly giving me the choice to either allow him to fetch his own, or to promptly produce forthwith myself. I’m producing, hoping to minimise the crumbs in my bed. LOL Outcome: I’ve read two days of your blog and even managed to comment 🙂
Oh, and the middle child is watching ABC Kids, but now it’s time to fetch the eldest from school. Now you know your blog provided a much-needed pause for me this afternoon!
Well, your blog and a bag of chips!)
Oh, snackfood as a appeasement tool – I’m there regularly 🙂
Thanks for commenting Sara – I’m feeling better today, but still so grateful for my husband!